Beggar

A beggar in my chest
breaks the vibe in company left
and takes his time, the little pest,
to twist his face into its best
Paint smile gone rambling
Clutching kite strings on ample wind
From the deep sigh drawn haggardly
By this neck deep in anxiety
White knuckle wanderer
An eager soul, timid ponderer
Welling thoughts will cause my sight to blur
Tonight the demon spite will churn
I'm learning slow the ways to know
Myself and spark compassion's glow
Instead of acting passive, so
My speech will match the rapid flow
Which thoughts have filled between my ears
But now I'm listening, let me hear
Your stories fresh, untangled, clear
Provide me sustenance, my dear
Food for thought to chase our cheer

Nervous Beat

nervous beat from Grahame Bywater on Vimeo.

Patience

If I could slow my mind down
Long enough to snuff the self-doubt
I might reach past the clouds
And dim the sun for a few hours
We'd appreciate the sight
And find fantasies in low light
Will mingle with reality tonight

We crave
To misbehave
And if one is brave
He'll save caution for later
Snowball the greater passion
Hope the floating moment lasts
And crassly dictate the next action

We fashion a rhythm
And get blue with the system
Move 2 in 2 blissful
Flash a fistful of kisses
Vinyl harmony listen
Gripped arms bent rigid
Pushed to ecstasy limit
Tune of derelict vision

I scribble
To nibble at the littleness of it all
Tryin to build a castle with one brick from my wall
I could stick it back in its spot
Or topple the whole mess
Or I could sickly stress till stomach knots complete my flaccid-ness

I guess
Sometimes
A rhyme doesn't cut it
It's time to move on
Gotta fix my mind budget
Gotta more than get along with myself
I gotta love him
With every bread I break I get that closer to my summit
So when patience is my friend I'll watch the end of sad fear plummet

Collective

I feel the reverberations slip their
Patient fingers under my collar
Massage the world away and run water
Make my demons smaller
I'm tapped energy now, bent to stand
In the rain and holler:
I'm higher than God could touch me
My mountain is taller
Just when a sin sparkles thin in the distance
I fix love to the signal and oil the pistons
Sex machine green at the gills a little
Busy buzzin on pretty person chemicals
Brittle
Tickled pink no thinkin'
Drink the poison air and sink into the chair
Less here more there
Less aware more fair direction
Warm complexion
Less perfection more collective
Bright perspective
Rock objective thought
Protect me not
Forget to rot
And spot the slobber fodder
DOTS
Parade
Elated, fade to trading rave for rage
And slip on back to the first page
Wherein I dance away
Dance today, romance the grave tomorrow
Black and white idealist fight or flight surrealist
Borrow spite from sorrow
Spark the fire to light my angry evils up in flames
Until the ashes mix with tired sweat and water
No regrets to foster, sooner bedrest lost
Than bet the cost of empathy on headless memories
Chickens will roost
Pickin' my boost
Pick o' the litter
Puppies from bitter love lost
Married to vigilance
Take sweet hold of the resonance
And regulate the pleasant states of mind
With reassurance, it'll be just fine
I'm sure of it, I'm sure of it, I'm sure of it
I'm surely spent

Schizo Bop

Shake down my benefit rave
For mental breakdowns I crave
Take this town and save
My unwound bravery days
Lessons to alter future impressions
Will falter and stress
Alternate between my best
And worst personality investments
And stretch reality, test the tension
Get fallacies rendered bleeding
Focus talents sending seedlings
To create balance with growth of deeds
AND I DO NOT directly observe the scene
I float freely on a dream
Else hyper-awareness will scream
Force a pressured frantic thought-mess
I guess my way through
Coz I aim to flatter you
Appreciate the matter, too
Static doom swoons into a headrush
Tune out the dusty doubt and flush
Insecurities proudly
Must be ready to push the boundaries
Outside influence, get into it
Get busy with the business at hand
Working fingers in fertile land
Plant a plan to ponder later
Thinking now will squander paydirt
Not quite right yet
Not light yet
Not alive yet
Still not there
Not entirely aware
Not prepared
Unsure and unfair
Insecure unsteady
Maybe ready tomorrow
Let me sit in sorrow
And foster thoughts to follow
Rotten lost isms fill my hollow head
Layer on the dread and toss
Some water on my flower bed
PRETTY POSIES THINK they know me
Rage roses close my only two eyes
Only too wide to stop the flies
From pickin at my pollinated lies
Spread my irritated shyness 'cross the meadow
Let's go pick a bitchy bouquet
And make ourselves feel OK
Take the damaged days and
Reshape 'em in a blaze of
Creativity
I'm privy and open
To new systems of copin'
Searchin' for a fashionable name
Compulsions stricken lame
Lift legs with tired arms
While the tendons tense I harm
My recompense with reticence
Faith in faithlessness and a straight path
Narrow mind cannot unwind
A simpler math this fool must find
I STUMBLE 'CROSS a new direction
Warm features grace my complexion
The crystal trust block fence is gone
For a moment at least I am alone
My shadow's found a temporary home
And I'm safe to strafe the barriers
I run without caution an dmarry the wind
Tear a page from my book of sin
Wear my rage as laughter again
Where it belongs, the longing song
Is a fable to flake away the wrongs
If I'm able to play along
For more than a beat
We could drink the world in and eat
The earth's lovely mirth
With the dirt brown
We'd make a joyful sound
And never hear it come out
But let it fall to the ground
And we'll follow the clouds
Coz they stole our proudness
Puffy adverbs and gas-nouns
We'll exhaust every facet
Till our skin turns to plastic
That would melt under a madness
Or a sadness that's static
And crafted with practical tactics
No more faces to save, we'll graduate back
To the uncursed impression, first act
Wherein our ignorance breeds bliss
And intuition steals an innocent kiss
THE MOLDY GOLDEN boy still lives
Still pastes his metaphors to the fridge
Forgot to sign 'em
Alive, but the shyness thrives
Not too fried that his passion unwinds
Inside is a fashionable mind
Only the latest brain trends
For the bent psyche
Spend little luxury betwixt
Now and the next epiphany
How High is the sycamore?
Depends which drug you're askin' for
Or which will leave us on the floor
Begging death to brave our warm steps
We crave a shallow depth of field
In an existence more surreal
Than tangible
Unmanagable mammalian motives
Meet toxic technological quotas
And we flock to a shocking horrible truth
Only to find we were smarter in our youth
BUT NOW OUR bare empathy
Shares insecure energy
If we let it be fresh
We could taste flesh pressure-less
Or die a double death
Before drawing a ragged breath
And gnawing away the brain tissue
Recycled chemical burn fissure
Let it turn this issue sour
And criminalize power
Trivial hours spent on greedy fantasy
Repent later and damage the memory
Depressive addiction to punishment
Waiting for the gavel to lunge
Banish these thought demons
And know true freedom
If fear and beliefs will stop screaming
Dreams will be achieved, believe that

Complexion

I grab it with my red right hand
Blood vessels turned to sand
Bouncing ball of opportunity
Thrown with a heavy empathy
Inspect my racket in the left
Pick off dirt and increase stress
Tension in strings breaks
Connections and brings disorder to function
Don't fix what ain't broken, son
And it's a broke binge
When the salt stings
Trust halts bring faults
And sing alt-rock, waltz
To the sock puppet soliloquy
And read into whatever reality
Becomes clearest first
Or dirtier, rather, we hurt
When search turns to certain
Recursive data insertion
Alert the population:
The visions of the morning need no further explanation
A whole truth is never so brutal
To be reduced to futile
Systems such as language
And where does my fist go
When I kiss those soft hands
Am I a man or a series of plans
Perfected in theory with good intent
Stretched to rigidity and bent to infinity
I spent my youth trying to be God
And lost myself in an odd way
But this character I'm renewing
Brings a new youthful naive soothing
Positive energy proving that nature is losing
To nurture and we're all grooving in a mix
I'm fusing philosophy and love with a soundtrack to skateboard tricks
Creation is my discipline trust bond
I seek my reflection in my most fond imperfections
For my direction depends on which selection
Of gray matter is blessing my complexion
And I dig the left one...
But he's a friend I regret spending
Ten years bending to compensate
For his irrational fears and pretending
I'm not aware of this careless
Mistreatment of the psyche
I might be done with that fun
Or maybe its only begun
I don't know or seek the answer
I don't contract the question cancer
I motivate facts and float on dry land, sir
I preach to my ego while you listen in
As we go along the velocity of the wind
A complementary sin, we let the universe win
And feel a fast grin spinning again

Gregariousness

Vibe flowin' from ya eye
I get a style, a sense of wildness about your flyness
I'm high yes, but you're there in the air as well
And we don't care, we'll just bare our souls
With no repose, no reconsidering of the iterations of our twittering
Patience and heart beats start our feet
Shuffling neat and discretely winking sweet
Smiles that I'll over-analyze for a while
And channel the energy toward exploring your mind
And finding courage to flourish in the nourishment
Of your urgent emotions folks tokin and jokes will
Begin broken and fix with a friendly token
A social trick gregarious hit with a laughing fit
And isn't it just the shit
Sit down and let it run around without you for a bit
And get back to the track running fast
The positive blast will make this memory last

Epiphany Machine

Wasn't much to today
Didn't have much to do with today
"You weren't really you, were you, today?"
Nah, I wasn't
I was more unpleasantly ignoring my present
And resenting the dissension from my ready philosophy
I'm begging on my hands and knees for a prophecy
That's probably got me before
But I ignore my experience and am sure
My delusional delirious retorts
Will delete my past results
So I can let life retake the happiness quiz
Crank the volume on my epiphany song and start it over again
Become a close friend of my mistakes
And let them take me out for dinner
We are feasting on the flesh
Of freshly killed shame, fear, and sinful
Thought patterns took simple matters
And crafted a raft, sent 'em laughing
Floatin' on the past
Rushed in the wrong direction while the kids run fast
Push those emotions in the water
So they'll swim and thin to better visions of your father figures
Lingering doubt
Figure it out
Pressing the issue will tear the tissue
And new muscle continues with time
But misuse a rhyme and be accused of
Miming in hopes of coping with
A loose grip on reality's fit hip
A tip this trick can spit from his lips
But still can't always clip to the bricks
Walling the thick-skulled self-referential
Mister currently delivering this blistery
Fistful of simmering similes, conceits
Consciously contradicting creative concepts
And complicated beats
A feat I defeat but greet with a smile and sweetness while
The psychology completes us
And the knowledge is neat, yes
But experience shows you can't beat confidence
So confide in it
Ride a self-manufactured wave
And limitless tide can tell the fortune you create

Social Synesthesia

Synthesized thoughts o' the day:
Make your own way to play the grow-up game
Today maturity transcends sexual purity
Emotional fixes trick us to throw bricks
Is this tic gonna prick our thick skulls
Into action
And out of an immature freshly post-adolescent society?
This notion of pressure point public enforcement does not require our piety
Our conscious community will increase in sobriety
When passionate leaders embrace mental variety
And fact(:)
We don't need to get attention
We just need to plant our own brand of land
And I mention this warning
Because more than a third of America happens to be CORN
We earn ourselves merit
When children are born
And survive to become more than we ever were
So pour yourself a half full glass of
Whatever passes through your soul
Drink the whole thing
And be bold when you bring
The cup to a crash on the table
Make a covenant between your disabled
Body and enlightened mind
In the one life we live, it's worth finding a new and better system
Not a religion but a privilege
Be more akin to social sacrilege
Assert the pristine pretentious dreams of yours
Just remember to never be mean towards
A character that doesn't happen to fit in your scene
Of course this is difficult
It requires an inspired rejection of personal assumptive inflections
And behavioral patters that don't matter for a fat second
After the fact
Wreckin' the train of thought from its tactful tracks
React with no preconcieved notions
And maybe this shit we're livin' won't sink into the ocean

Flick the Politic

Purchase the urgency
Fishtailed feelings fighting for resurgence
Pearly whites and ties strangling aging trust veterans
Culmination of lies mangling community
Bitter men
Dirty wealth
Left children in withered health
Felt pain
Pushed under
Resurrection, we must burn asunder
The social pressure clogs progress
Balled up pieces of regret wiping sweat
Nerves dead to reason forget
Capitalism is a threat
To all save the tallest
With the smallest heart
Empathy is the start
Of the next chapter wherein we begin
To atone for our sins
Ivory tower
Fake flowers and too much power
Survey the horizon and possibly
Lay your eyes on the lambs
Followers tread lightly in spite of the will to fight
Assumption of equal opportunity
Unifying the community
One nation under one lie
Preservation is a joke told to pass the time
Once pigs get their fill
Pack their backs and spill
The news to the used
"Haha, you lose!"
Shoulda seen the look
Told us they're no crooks
And took the change from our kids' pocketbooks
Paperback crack addict failed mathematics
Spoutin radical trash
Fashionable if you want it to be
But promise me you believe
Talk, preach, walk, teach
But walk where you must
Diverge to selfish urges and this will breach our trust
Path of righteousness is plagued in stones
Pitfalls and false homes
And everyone of these downfalls must occur to be sure
To be certain the last curtain is gone
Will it ever be?
Not with that defeatist attitude
Don't get sadder, get much madder, dude
Of all the problems we face
None bigger than the human race
Compassion versus greed
Feed the energy into what we need
Emotions are infectious
Be precocious with your intentions
Open wide and flood the city
Rushing liquid language loud enough to make Gabriel blush
Fluster the maniacal bank busters
Tune out the TV gusts
Radiation blushes your cheeks
And fizzles out awkward analogies when you speak
So FREAK OUT!
Greet loudly the day with love in mind
And life will drop that bitchy glare
In place of a kinder stare
Depression is anger and anger is fear
Fear is self loathing...self loathing is here
Near to uncle Sam's address book
Tucked in a nook
But hooked to American pathology
Systematic dissection of property value
Betrayal of sympathy
A non-sustainable mutation
The evolution of this nation
Depends upon a vast inflation of change
Not the change in your pockets
Change out whichever jock's lobbyin' up this cockpit
And stinkin' up the process
I'll blink twice before drinkin' in these iced American problems

Winter Wishwashes

Tight grip
Vice tips my icy scale
And I'm wailing inside while I inhale
Trail off to the darker corners of my mind
See what negative fantasies I can find
Unwind my talents and spit on the threads
Cold, no comfort and creating dread
Lies and slanderous cries I've fed
Into my head
Keeps me lying awake in bed
Filled to the brim and overflowing
Never quite fully grasped what I'm growing
In my gut
But knowing what
I can do
LET MYSELF GO AND BE TRUE
to the positive side
The returning tide
Energy ride into good memories collide
Tried to force it with logic
But couldn't stand as a mechanical man
Planning to lose the Judge for good
Giving up the fight with my tight mind
And wooden shackles rot
Emotional waves caught in time
Saved for prime reference materials
Confabulates more surreal experiences
Sometimes the pattern is too clear, yes
Stressful knowledge
Take this test one quest at a time
Best out a rhyme
And bust down a firing line
Crust wound
Trust swoon
Must be soon
Fuck doom
Just fuck the gloomy gus-hole with a flagpole and pus
Fuss in a mussed hairdo
Where do we go
Where the wind blows
Or where she doesn't
Don't make it unpleasant
Consider this thought process a present
Rather than a curse
Rehearse the mindset
And fetch some worse ideals
Than real time, really feel the deal
All I can drop are pretty words and popular
Estimations of brain functions I've heard
I must unlearn the vacant turn
Churned gully bullied by the Billy Bob
Sob story
Cory Arcangel and a glass pipe of danger
Fangs mangled to an angle
And strange banalities dangle
Drop to the bottom of a Pringle's can
And stop the flow from starting again
But conscious duration is a friend
Distractions will win in the end
Better compliments hold a hand to lend
Folding thought canyons send old water to fend off
Bold daughters from landing
But the promised purity is advancing
And the princesses will be dancing
On the stress confessional remains
Hands clasped, we'll sing a folk refrain
Surrender to love and evaporate shame